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But I still wasn’t allowed to use the D-slur. They love, categorically, any story that involves a parent being embarrassed.
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My kids laughed as I described how my face turned red.
#OLD BLACK GAY FUCKING MOVIE#
Enthralled, I’d turned to the friend sitting next to me: “Finally, a movie about us!” My friend raised an eyebrow: “You realize this cast is all female?” I told my kids about the day I went to see Go Fish, the 1994 indie comedy about a group of young lesbians. “Me, too-I thought of myself as one of them.” “They called each other the D-slur all the time,” I said. My co-father verified that back in the hoary old ’90s, half my friends had been women-loving women. Well, except that I never watched football.” Haven’t you heard of Dykes on Bikes? Besides, I practically was a lesbian for a while. Just like only Black people could use the N-word. “You can’t say that, Daddy-that’s the D-slur. Our kids have berated me numerous times, but never as vehemently as when I used a word that rhymes with psych. It’s a failure to remember a recent pronoun change or anything that they perceive as a slight on a marginalized group that will get us indicted by our in-house team of prosecutors. When we swear in front of them, the kids shrug. These new offenses are of a different order than the old. Today, they are the enforcers of correct speech, and we parents the perpetrators of all linguistic offenses.
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Now that the twins are teens, the household dynamics have flipped. In third grade, our kids still thought the F-word was fart.Īlas, they grew up. No four-letter words in our house! We lasted longer than I would have thought possible. As gay dads at a time when gay families were still relatively rare, my husband and I felt the pressure to be model parents. But that fantasy ended as soon as the twins could talk. Never mind an asshole or even a bitch.Īs for our family, I’d originally envisioned a more bohemian lifestyle, with midnight dinners and toddlers who swore like sailors. That was 12 titles ago, and I haven’t included a single damn since. Who could object? It stayed until the Scholastic Book Club demanded I take it out-or else they’d take my book off their very lucrative list. The first book I wrote, The Name of This Book Is Secret, I put the word damn in it. But it has made me think about the words I choose to use and not use-about the good words and the bad.Īs a children’s author and the father of twins, I excel at censoring myself. The law, which prohibits discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity in a manner that is not “developmentally appropriate,” is deliberately, devilishly vague. Just look at the T-shirts and protest signs: “#SayGay” is the new “We’re here. I’ve never wanted to say it more.įlorida’s infuriating “Don’t Say Gay” law has given new power to an old word.